Things That are Bound to Happen

Hello Good  People,

There are certain things that are bound to happen in marriage and in human relationships. Some accept it, others deny it, first to themselves and then also deny it to the person or persons they are involved with. Some cover it up, but it does not remove the existence. Some spiritualise it and put the blame on the next person or on every other person around their circle of relationship, but this again does not remove the fact, and the glaring consequences. Rather it drives a wedge in the relationship and deepens the gulf created by the situation.
      In every relationship, no two people have equal attributes. One person may be more accomodating; seeing wrong behaviours and taking it, believing that the other person will soon realise his or her mistakes and put in some boundaries, while the other person will not allow anyone around to cross a line. Another may be more generous while the other is less generous. One may be a risk taker while the other person is not. Another may be very accessible while the other person is not. One may be very outgoing while the other person is an indoor person. Another might like nature watch like myself and the other may love people watch like my husband. We pass through a street and the number of behavioural patterns he (my spouse) will observe is simply amazing and he is always surprised that I did not notice same. I can be glued to one spot for over an hour just watching the sea and he cannot understand what the hell is happening in the river, ocean or sea that I cannot remove my eyes from or causes the screams of joy as the waves go up and come down. What is so  beautiful about a tree? And I go how did you observe all that in less than a second? According to our naija comedians, 'na so life be'.
       But these differences are not really issues for me in human relationships, especially in marriage because I believe that it is a deliberate act of God to bring balance and enhancement in the lives of the people He has brought together. At least if one person wants to give out everything they own in the name of generousity, the other spouse can apply some break and they will be a balance. If the outgoing person wants to stay out all day and go out all weekend, the indoor person can apply some break in the trend to achieve some balance, like wise if the indoor person refuses to mix with friends and family, the other person can also let him or her see the other side of life. But if the two are given to the same equal attributes, then excesses are bound to take place to the detriment of the immediate and sometimes the larger family. Since God wants everything to be done in moderation, many times, two people of opposite or extreme attributes are joined together in marriage so that both can introduce moderation in the life of each other.
       Where couples or friends do not understand this, their lives together will be filled with 'why's'....why this, why that way and the 'why' just continues. It can also lead to serious frustrations because you just want the other person to be like you in everything............that will not lead to onesness. It can lead to so mush frustration that if care is not taken, it will tear the two people apart.
       So we need to recognise the strength and weaknesses of each other, but more important, we need to recognise OUR own weaknesses. This is because if we do, then we can recognise help that God has already provided in our spouse or friend; but when we do not recognise our area of weakness or admit our area of our weakness, then comes the CRUX of my thoughts today. Something happens. A denial occurs, disagreement sets in, finger pointing starts and chaos sets in ,the weakness deepens and frustrations start. The worst is cover up. If you want a wound to heal fast, open it so that it can get some air. Even when you cover it, it is with a bandage that gives room for light and air to get to the wound. No wound looks nice to behold. So people who have wounds are ashamed and they try to hide it away from the sight of other people by covering it. But this does not bring healing. There is healing and already provided help for every wound that you are carrying in someone close to you. Putting the fault on everyother person or on the other person will never heal that weakness. Help begins to set in when we realise it, admit it and receive the help that God has made so readily available for your situation or circumstance. Rececive and do not be shy to leave a comment after reading this or ask questions. You know what, we have all been there; these things are bound to happen. Cheer up.